Children’s social and emotional development occurs most effectively within the context of a strong, positive relationship with their parents and caregivers.
While there are many different ways to build this relationship, one powerful method to nurture this bond is through Child-Directed Interaction (CDI). CDI is a core component of Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) and is frequently used to enhance the parent-child relationship through positive, engaging, and structured play.
What is Child-Directed Interaction?
Playing can be more challenging than it appears. Play is how young children engage in building relationships with others, exercise their imagination, learn to manage emotions and behavior, and gain a sense of mastery. Because play is so important and complex, many children may struggle to learn how to play safely, cooperatively, or in a manner that fosters connection with others. Additionally, many adults may not have engaged in child-like play for a long time. The spontaneous, improvisational, and relational way of playing with young children differs significantly from how many adults play (if they play at all!), and parents may need skills to effectively join their children in play. CDI techniques can offer a framework for both parents and children to learn how to build safe and supportive relationships.
The goal of CDI is to create a nurturing and pleasant environment where your child feels heard, valued, and encouraged to engage in play safely. CDI techniques has been found to be particularly helpful for families with children with behavioral or conduct problems, children on the autism spectrum, or families where there has been exposure to adversity, trauma, or instability. However, many parents who just want to learn how to connect with their child more have found CDI techniques to be very helpful in relationship-building.
CDI has particularly been found to have several positive outcomes for both parents and children, including:
- Strengthening the parent-child bond
- Improving child behavior through positive reinforcement
- Increasing child self-esteem and confidence
- Reducing negative behaviors and lowering frustration
- Enhancing communication between parent and child
The “PRIDE” Skills in CDI
At the heart off CDI are the ‘PRIDE’ skills. These are techniques and skills parents should try to use when engaging their child in play. The skills include:
- Praise: Give specific, labeled praise (e.g., “I love how carefully you are building that tower!”) to reinforce positive behavior.
- Reflect: Repeat or paraphrase what your child says to show active listening (e.g., Child: “I made a red car.” Parent: “Yes! You made a red car!”).
- Imitate: Join in your child’s play by doing what they do, demonstrating interest and engagement.
- Describe: Narrate what your child is doing, like a sports commentator, to help them feel noticed and validated (e.g., “You’re stacking the blocks so high!”).
- Enjoy: Show enthusiasm and have fun, ensuring your child feels your warmth and support.
What to Avoid in CDI
CDI also encourages parents to avoid certain topics or behaviors during play, as parents should strive to keep the interaction positive. In general, try to avoid:
- Questions: Questions can cause anxiety or defensiveness (even in adults!). Instead of asking, “What color is that?” simply describe: “That’s a bright blue car!”
- Commands: Commands can bring people out of play and spontaneity. Instead of collaborating, it can feel like an order or being given instructions. Instead, let your child lead rather than direct them (e.g., avoid “Put that block here.”). Of course, if your child is about to do something unsafe in the play, commands can be used (‘Don’t jump off the table”)
- Criticism: Criticism can evoke feelings of shame, inferiority, and anxiety. There is no wrong way to play (so long as it is safe); therefore, try to focus on positive reinforcement instead of correcting mistakes.
Implementing CDI at Home
CDI-based play can be helpful, but it is likely not something that can be done during every instance of play. It may be helpful to have CDI-based play implemented in a structured way at home. Below are some suggestions that may be helpful.
- Try and set aside 10 minutes daily for CDI with your child.
- Choose a quiet, distraction-free environment.
- Use toys or activities that encourage creativity (e.g., building blocks, dolls, coloring). What is important here is to go with what your child wants to do.
- End the session positively, even if challenges arise.
By practicing CDI consistently, parents can foster a more positive, trusting, and cooperative relationship with their children. Investing just a few minutes a day in child-directed play can make a significant impact on your child’s emotional well-being and behavior as well as help you feel closer to your child.